EL FLESH

[ken]

Well you are a lucky man to have access to all that lovely Smogasbord. Me, I'm really envious. Recently ran a Burns Night Supper with some friends, Haggis, Neaps & Tatties, the full works. Wore my kilt !! If you want a picture, it will cost you dear. Have you tried Haggis? Has lots of lovely offal in it. Puck is coming in two weeks time, will introduce him to the Conjuror, bit like your Necromancer, on whom he is based. Do you recognise any of the attached Babes

females.jpg

[el_flesh]

whoa VERY nice!

Haggis - not for me, sorry...though I do know what it is.

[el_flesh]

It takes a long time to setup tonight. Ninja and Georgeous are debating the actual professionalism of giving "*Steve* jobs"; Ninja says there's no way it is a profession; Georgeous responds "It even has "JOB" in it's title; of course it's a job!"
Meanwhile, everyone else is munching on tortillas & salsa, fresh baked bread and cheese, some olives and puffed cuttlefish chips, all while tossing back some Pina Colladas (blech - I like Lime Daquiris more).
It takes over an hour to get ready - since Version 8 of Beernut's "Archetypes' is now implemented. It will include rolling for initiative.
We find Korisu gets nerfed. Beernut cannot figure out how he had ten attack dice instead of eight. Sunshine gets a little nerfed, too.

Finally we begin! Ninja hides in plain sight, and his initiative lets him rip a hole in a Fimir. He gathers the last soul (of corrupts) that I will need, in finishing the Fimir off.


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Zebs attacks a red Fimir; hacking off its arm, and then removing its head. Wow the Fimier is really red now! But he gets two more Fimirs on him - the initiative rolls now mean that Zarquon doesn't necessarily go last anymore! Sunshine wants to "...shoot that nasty green guy." Ninja says "I hope you donnn't mean Zebs!" She hits the Fimir in the shoulder. Her next arrow gets him in the eye, and he "falls like a pile of *lemony goodness*!" She then gets the red one in its leg and Georgeous splits its head wide open. He gets five hits on the purple Fimir - it tries to block but his axe goes right through and spins it around. All the creatures inside are killed.


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We feel the whole castle rumble. We know we had better get outside into the courtyard for starters. We find that the main doors have been smashed open by a mounted creature!




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Uh oh.


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Ninja attacks first, but the mount just turns and completely dodges him! Korisu, still extremely drunk, rolls snake eyes on his lightning storm weapon. "Kuso! Now is bounce back on meee!" Beernut tells him, "no... it wouldn't bounce back on you.." and rolls his defense to it, coming up double sixes, which he shows him - "OK it DOES bounce back on you!" amid general laughing from the whole table we hear the DM "You - you pull the sword over your back for a mighty swing, and it touches your back when you do it too much!" Luckily shocking himself doesn't stun him; he does get one damage. Continuing his attack, the sword bounces off the mount, but jolts it with alot of electricity; it falls, sizzling through the ears. Korisu has fried its brains - from the side, not from the back...


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My skels cause damage, and pebbles (the female skel) misses her hit, but her shield bash kills the rider. Sunshine shoots from behind the ranks - she hits the first green Ogre in the mouth, turning its head and the arrow whipping out the side; her second arrow, immediately following goes through both its eyes as its head was turned. It falls dead. Georgeous hits the second Ogre, his next attack making its head explode, bits of brain splatting off the walls.


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The chaos mage summons allies.


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Zebs is surrounded and the attacks reduce him to ONE body point left! We know he wants to run away! But we tell him to leap at the mage and kill him! Korisu kills the red Fimir.


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Zebs drinks three healing potions that bring him up to six body points; he leaps and attacks the Mage, forgetting two autohits, winds up with six hits. A heavy cut on the Mage's chest staggers it back. But he fails to stun it rolling snake eyes. He advances on the Mage and gets in two hits left, but it is defended.
Ninja fails to hide in plain sight, but he can still slice and dice. Three hits "slices a Quadricep clean through to the bone." Georgeous thinks that since the muscle is sliced in half, it must now be an 'Octocep'. The creature falls and a second hit removes it head. Zebs ducks a fire ball, managing to dodge it. The following physical attack of the Mage misses entirely, allowing such a counter, that Zebs saves the day again, taking its head off. The summoned allies vanish; three lizard men and a mummy.


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Georgeous swings at the purple Fimir, which has one defense die left after actions, and it also winds up stunned. Its head gets split in two!


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Next he runs to attack the bronze Chaos Warrior from the rear, (giving it only a flat footed defense) which doesn't hurt it but does stun it for four actions...
The gold skel on the bronze Chaos Warrior busts up its armor a bit with a two skull hit. Red skeleton kills the Fimir. The gold Chaos Warrior kills the minor skeleton (summoned by the skel mage some time ago) utterly; bits of bone splinters embed in the rock wall behind. Pebbles skel loses a third of her structural integrity. Korisu kills the gold Chaos Warrior with one shocking touch. But he fails to kill the bronze one, as does Ninja! Sunshine tries to shoot through the dynamic fight; trying to find a momentary keyhole that will give her a shot at the enemy, but fails her roll. The gold skeleton is in the way, and his defense roll makes the arrow pass harmlessly through a gap in his ribs. She tries again! This arrow goes through where the ears of the Chaos Warrior should be. It drops, and the monsters are all dead.


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As we are picking over the rubble, searching the Mage's body for any clue, the 2nd legion arrives. The leader rides up to us asking who is in charge of the city. I step forward, claiming interim leadership of the town while my friends ignore him. He hands me a note which reads:

Dearest Govenor,

The men are betraying me!
They are dying even after I ORDERED them not to!
The peasants make a barely adequate shield and fall faster than expected (especially the women and children who refuse, absolutely REFUSE to have more skill in battle, even after I ordered them to!)
Alas, I must request reinforcements post haste for my magnificent skill at arms and God-given leadership skills are not enough to repulse the enemy!

Inda Mardu,
C.I.C. 4th legion.


The leader of the 2nd legion does not know where Mental is.
I ask him, as temporary leader of this city and with Mental absent, if he will follow my directions.



Beernut rolls to check and says he will. I turn to my friends and propose that we leave the second legion here; while we go to the city. I think they will be able to defend this Imperial city, as they are 1000 strong. Korisu is glad they are not "1000 weak". There is alot of debate, some of it thinking we should split up (which means we would have to have two different games on two different weekends - something that might naturally happen anyway). I am thinking of asking my friends to go and help find me the last soul I will need - an innocent one. But I realize that a child who is quickly expiring anyways and is beyond all help is STILL an innocent soul! Georgeous warns me that if I tell this to his char, he would still probably oppose it feeling his char is practically a Paladin. Beernut says no, a Paladin is more like a religious twit: praying to his god, then being able to slaughter an entire village.
I autofail (snake eyes turned up alot tonight) at finding a dying child in any orphanages. Zebs rolls low enough that he can't find anything anywhere either. I turn to Ninja, and explain the matter to him; that I will only accept a child that is beyond all help, while Georgeous rolls to see if he overhears our convo - and juuust doesn't. Ninja manages to find one, but our Dm Beernut the bastard, makes sure it is a difficult decision - he says that while the (rolled) four month old is definitely expiring, Sunshine could probably heal it.
I need the power. Mental's note was clear - "I believe it (Lichdom) will be necessary to defeat Zarquon". When we meet the Bitch King, it might be needed. Also, there was the note that we found in the governor's office last adventure:


Just a Suggestion

The livestock are moving to their desired growth at a much faster pace than anticipated. I suggest that you move your plan ahead in order to plant the final seed before they get too fat for you to eat... Z


While I have no idea what it means, Korisu suggest that the livestock is US and that getting "too fat" means too powerful. He thinks I might be a mole, since I am "evil" based. It makes me grin, which looks even more guilty as being caught with your hand in the cookie jar, but I protest that it simply isn't so. "We should KIRRU the sorressu!" ehhh alot of the others aren't really for it.
So I decide to sacrifice one in order to save thousands. I kill the baby, using the 5-soulstone dagger, FIVE attribute points that I had saved up; and completing the spell, I rip out and hide my 'soul' forevermore in a secret object - a Phylactory. My body appears no different at this moment; only it needs no sleep now, no food, and no water. It is undead. Becoming a Lich has effectively doubled my defense to eight dice. When I raise undead it will cost spirit points instead of life points, which, at 12, are three points higher than 9 life. I now have a natural immunity to many spells and effects; electrical ones cannot harm me at all, neither can poison, nor will life drain or sleep work on me. Healing potions will still work...for now. I decide to train; 1000 Ag pieces gets one point more in Hellraiser.
We can only train one AP per level...

Ninja trains in thieving (one wonders how the final exam is accomplished) and gains bonuses to searching and hiding.
Korisu and Sunshine each buy training in Armor Handling, which reduces the actions required to handle the weight; Sunshine gains a full action point.
Georgeous buys shield training, and now his shield bash can pin the target against any solid object - such as Zebs.

Well, our silver is much depleted, but we have gained alot of power for it. Zarquon better watch his ass, because now we are coming for it. Not only with nasty pointy teeth, but also with this custom skel warrior made by Georgeous out of a spare scythe (from one of the skel mage customs) and THREE spare skulls...also some dental floss and, believe it or not a rubber band.

[ken]

Flesh, tell your crew I am beyond words (almost) "We feel the whole castle rumble. We know we had better get outside into the courtyard for starters. We find that the main doors have been smashed open by a mounted creature!" quotes Flesh. Is it the Canadian RMP?? comin' to the rescue, I ask myself. Lots of new pieces on the board, I see. That last picture makes me humble, is it Monster or Hero ?? Puck was here for dinner, with his family last night, telling me all about his new kit. He is here next w/e for a full 2 days gaming !! Those babes I posted, his sister bought 'em, 99p plus post. Fantastic work, keep it up!!

[ken]

Flesh, what skulls do you use to protect your necromamcers' skells, black or white I tried my conjurer against Puck yesterday, he says I should use black, me I went for white, so we are giving you the casting vote.

[el_flesh]

I didn't know they were made in black - unless you mean painting them!

Georgeous has primed the originals, (which are a cream color in all the sets I've seen...), in both, black and white primer. The skulls on the furniture were primed black; the skulls on this skel above were primed white. He then builds his layers of paint on top. I hope Georgeous and Korisu decide to register for this forum and start a thread discussing techniques of painting the minis...

Anything with loads of blood on it, such as the purple Fimir, and the torture rack, were painted by Korisu. I hope to have, very soon, some animals that were painted by Tinka, an artist who does not play at all...well, some of us think she might play with Korisu...

[ken]

I meant the Attack/Defend dice Shields, sorry, I had a Senior Citizen Moment there.

[el_flesh]

They use white shields, which the DM told me to do.

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While Korisu, Georgeous, Sunshine and Oranguchang are training, El Flesh runs off with the baby cookie that is too weak to even squall. Ninja and Zebs follow me. Ninja because he is curious, and Zebs because he is hoping to eat it after I'm done.
The DM, Beernut, says that I am very eager, and run into the first empty building I see that will have a basement; I fail to even notice what type it is. It is the same thing for the guys following me. As they whisper to each other, arguing about who should go downstairs to find me first, they hear a rush of dark magic as the dying -but innocent- baby is stabbed with the last Soulstone. They come down the stairs, and hear a click as the door above them locks. I turn, and they both notice immediately that there is something different about me, (which is quite a feat for Zebs).


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Ninja has initiative, and goes down the stairs first. He find TROUBLE right away. The creatures look like they are recovering from a fierce battle. He goes in for a back-stab; the creatures hear some noise but he is already hiding. The Orc Leader hero is killed immediately, quickly followed by another Orc.


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Zebs, who is next, runs down the stairs as he hears battle happening. He confidently makes small attacks, all of them having two autoskulls. He finishes the Orc off finally, the last one attacks him but fails to kill him. Too bad. As a Zebs Zombie, nobody would have been able to tell the difference for a full week.
I can now seek out and obtain better souls to inhabit my skeletons. Georgeous' creation is now Lord Boner, a very hard-hitting hi-defense hero skeleton. He clacks down the stairs, cuts the nose off the Orc, then smashes its face in (bongg!) with the top of his double scythe.


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Ninja searches for secret doors, and finds nothing. He repeats it on the stairs and get a snake eyes CLICK! He falls into a large pit trap.
Eventually, he finds the secret door, and a potion of restoration on a treasure search. Going thru the door, he easily gets initiative and hidden, makes a dual wield back attack. The Fimir is cut on its leg.


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Zebs makes five hits. Lord Boner finishes it off. The last Fimir attacks Zebs, who makes an anticipatory counter, hitting it with three skulls. Ninja initiates a dual wield, the first swing stabbing the Fimir, which is falling already dead as the second blade buries in its neck. Ninja then goes on to find a potion of invisibility.


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Lord Boner heads out and falls into a pit trap. I step on his head to open the door and walk across him.


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Zebs goes into the next room, and as soon as he touches the door, vanishes.
He finds a cold room with an Icy Terror for company! I declare that I am sure not going to mess with a door that could utterly vaporize me after going through all this trouble to become immortal! I roll vs Mind and determine nothing more than that the door has some kind of magical effect on it. It means that I probably wouldn't be vaporized into my component atoms to touch it; but why risk it? Ninja won't touch the door either - he rolls a search for treasure - the first die turns up one, and the second one balances as it spins...spins...spins....looses balances and rotates into..a ONE! CLICK!! The three shields he rolls lets him dodge the pit!


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Menawhile, Zebs yells and attacks the Icy Terror - breaking ice chuncks off of it. It blows cold ice at his face. He has a flat-footed defense, and gets damaged. His second attack destroys the Icy Terror, collapsing it into a pile of icy shards that tinkle on the snowy floor. Zebs has been steadily losing body points due to the cold, too.
But we have heard nothing at all from the other side of the door. So I send Lord Boner through. I realize we won't die from touching the door, and since there is no way back, we have no choice but to move forward. I pass thru the room looking for doors, going through one I open another, finding two Renders in the hallway, each of them preoccupied with digging at rubble. Ninja runs greedily to the treasure chest, which blows up when he opens it, pushing him back into the cold room. The ceiling collapses, burying the bright shiny sword he sees in the corner!


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Zebs comes out into the hall, sneaking behind one of the renders, and cuts its head clean off, the blood splaying out all over the walls! Ninja, very frost-bitten, runs out of the room and sees the other monster down the hall. (We suggested he go outside in the snow for a few minutes to fully feel the icy room effects on his character, but he declined for some reason). Lord Boner takes off the top of the Render's skull, but his scythe smash merely bounces off its shoulder as it is turning.


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Ninja finds another dagger of extension, but the door Lord Boner opens explodes; sending him into the other room mixing him up with the skeletons there and collapsing the arch. I totally screw up my initiative roll with snake eyes...these are the dice I had switched with Ninja because he was getting them! The dice are CURSED!


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Lord Boner deals with three skeletons attacking at once, whipping his double scythe around.


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On the other side, we are digging, but haven't gotten through yet. I raise a wizard who failed his attempt at a Lich spell; he raises two bone knights which can dig more than I could have done alone. Ninja, unable to get in front, searches the fireplace, and finds and artifact, saying "I'm gonna *lemony goodness* rainbows and happiness!" He finds a sword that gives extra damage, but it isn't enough to interest Zebs.


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Ninja next searches for a secret door and gets SNAKE EYES again - rubble collapses on him as he tugs at tapestries. I will have to send my crew to dig him out, though I am tempted to just leave him there - after expiring, he would also make an entertaining zombie, pinned under the rock. But I suppose that I should show gratitude for his part in helping me...


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Outside the room, and too far to see us (at 7 paces), Zebs sees a skelton in the corner and runs towards it, tumbling into a pit trap. Getting out, he smashes the skeleton apart. Searching the room, Ninja finds another sword that is also static discharge! But he also rolls so high he gets a gold ring of travel - once per adventure, it allows return to town (for health potions no doubt!)


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Zebs, venturing far ahead of us, stumbles into a trap of four spears, two of which hit him. He blasts forward anyway, and falls into a lava pit, managing to avoid death by hanging on with his hands! But he cannot climb up, and his boots begin to smoke... Ninja meanwhile, has found a secret door and smartly finds and disarms a trap on the Tomb. It contains gold and a jewel encrusted statue - which has a return spell on it, the same as the ring!
We wonder if these artifacts have helped the hordes of Zarquon attack the city...


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I reach Zebs and pull him up. I command the wizard skeleton to use the gold bone knight to make an (un)living bridge over the lava pit. We will not be able to help him up, and he will steadily lose body points.


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We all cross, and find the door to the final room. (Stepping on the head of the wizard skeleton that is stuck in the pit...)


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Ninja, unseen, sneaks through it, and stabs at the Chaos Warrior from the darkness. He causes some damage, but his second hit glances off the armor. My army gives some damage to the boss, removing an arm.


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Zebs fails to kill it, his second attack finally does it in. Lord Boner is attacked from behind, his solid shielding giving a few counters to the back. Ninja kills a skeletal knight (which the other two are also). I determine that the design on the stone floor has some energy to it...it is a pOrtal! It will take two turns of concentration to determine more; what and where it leads. Ninja, meanwhile, rolls a perfect 100 on the room search, but makes lousy rolls in determining the artifact - it is merely a club of heat. But he also find a heavy Spike Launcher of Spittle. If the owner is damaged in melee, it will retaliate with one body point of acid spit.

I roll to determine what and where the portal leads. The Cursed Dice turn up snake eyes, and it therefore activates. As we whoose away to somewhere, I can tell that it is the exact same portal energy we were in for two years. It was made by Mental. I also realize that my change has given me a new, expanded mental capacity - our minds were tampered with while we had spent two years in that portal.


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What was Mental up to? Is he actually the enemy? Or was his magic taken advantage of by Zarquon?
All we know is that we are being transported to somewhere...

[ken]

Thanks for the shield advice. That Lord Boner is something else ! Pleased to see you spending so much time over the Good Book ! Hope it gave you Comfort & Solace thoughout your day. Was that a KKK skeleton I see there? (Am I allowed to ask that?)

[el_flesh]

Yup. It's the good book of how to skewer innocents and become an unnatural immortal!
The skeleton with the cloak is another Georgeous custom - a mage.

Beernut has made him a wizard that failed his Lich spell, killing him! As a Lich, I have cast about in the spirit realm and found this powerful being. I have given him a chance to return to this vortal coil - only under my command, as I can unsummon and banish him forevermore.

Yaaaa I likes me the power.