"HALT STRANGERS!" barks an officer who hurriedly orders the gates closed. "I am Bansabira, Captain of the Royal Guard. What brings you to Stylos? You have the look of travelers. Have you come to visit the Royal Palace? Rub my hand with one gold coin each and I will give you a tour. By 'rub my hand' I meant 'give me' a coin. LET GO OF THE COIN YOU STUPID DWARF!"
"Commoners such as yourself may not enter the Palace through the Royal Gates. Come with me to the side entrance."
"HALT! DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?" barks a guardsman. "His Royal Majesty is very busy. For five silvers apiece, I can fit you in on the first day of Octo ..."
"Peace Duripi, these visitors are with me," says the captain who beckons them forward. "Abide here while I see if his Royal Majesty is available."
"Fortune smiles upon you," smiles the captain. "Stop grousing about the gold coin Dwarf or I will gift you with a visit to the Royal Dungeons!"
"You may look upon the person of his Royal Majesty but do not speak to him. He is a gifted scholar and is busy thinking great scholarly thoughts that are far beyond our ken. Having gifted the Unseen University with a thousand gold coins, he was gifted with an honorary degree. The ways of higher learning are indeed mysterious. Look upon his Majesty, King Kubaba and tremble in your ignorance."
"Come visitors. Here is the Royal Library. With nearly 35 books and 100 ancient scrolls, it is the largest library in the Kingdom. We even have a model of the known world. As you can see the world is flat and ships sailing too far from the shore risk plummeting over the edge of the world and falling into the eternal abyss."
"BANSABIRA! YOU IDIOT!" roars the librarian. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT SCROLLS ARE NOT TO BE USED FOR WIPING YOUR WORTHLESS BUM!"
The captain quickly ushers the adventurers away. "Can't talk now. I'm escorting important visitors to the Palace."
"Here then is the dining room and kitchen. No Dwarf, you may not have a beer. Tarina is preparing the table for the King's luncheon and yes, all three steins of beer are for his Royal Highness. Scholarly thoughts are apparently a thirsty business ... and no Elf, I will not discuss the numerous dichotomies apparent in this palace. Yes, the dungeon master is aware that German beer steins and a Victorian era bar maid have no place in a Minoan palace. For that matter, the guards have steel weapons and armor while the Minoans were a Bronze Age civilization. The library also includes bound books even though the Minoan civilization ended some 1,250 years before the first book was ever bound. For the love of the Almighty Gods, there's a halfling chef wearing chef whites in the kitchen! This is a fantasy, Elf! Live with it!"
"Here is the pantry. As you can see, it's well stocked with all manner of drink and provender. Yes Dwarf, that is a beer cask. Do I really need to say no, you may not have any beer? Alright then - NO, YOU MAY NOT HAVE ANY BEER! And yes Elf, the Minoans did have beer. They drank barley beer, mead, and herb infused wines. And yes Elf, those ARE potatoes and yes, the DM is aware that potatoes originated in the New World and were not discovered by Western Civilization until some 2,800 years after the downfall of the Minoans."
"Here is the Royal Bathing Chamber and Bedroom. No Dwarf, you may not bounce on the bed."
"Thank you all for having visiting the Palace. This concludes our tour unless you'd like to gift me with more coins? And yes Elf, I am aware that coinage is another dichotomy since the concept of currency did not exist in the Minoan civilization. With this being said would any of you care to gift me with some additional coins for such an informative tour? No? Then on your way! Don't let the door hit you in the ..." The Captain slams the door shut as the dwarf passes through the doorway.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a side note, here are some overviews of the palace tiles. This is a view from the front.
Here is a side view.
These tiles were created with nothing more than cardboard or plywood bases, linoleum tiles from Home Depot that were cut into 1 inch squares, styrofoam walls, acrylic paint, and glue. Although some of the furniture came from a painted Hero Quest set, most were made from clay.
It was fun building this dungeon (that it's technically not a dungeon since it's a palace). Since my other dungeon tiles all feature decrepit ruins, it was fun making something that didn't look decayed and filthy.
Although I have designed a dungeon master's map of the palace, I have not yet populated it with treasure, traps, monsters, or hidden doors. Here is my map.
My tentative plans for a quest involve having the king and his court displaced by an army of mouselings.
The quest will require the adventurers to find the Royal Scepter which gives any person of the blood royal absolute control over his subjects. This would include the mouselings. Sadly his Royal Majesty King Kubaba has forgotten where he left the scepter and it will be up to our brave adventurers to find and retrieve it.
With only one body point, the mouselings are not terribly formidable fighters. To augment their survival, I'm equipping some of them with spears for diagonal attacks. Others will have short bows for ranged attacks. I will also have one mouseling mage.
This concludes my active participation at this site, at least for now. Hereafter I expect I will become an infrequent visitor. Although I still have nearly 3 weeks left of summer vacation, I'm taking an on-line course for teacher certification renewal. I'm five chapters and nearly 40,000 words into writing a sci-fi novel. I also have several on-line workshops I need to take prior to starting the school year.
Time grows short and the 2018-2019 school year (and my 29th year as a teacher) approaches.
I have enjoyed visiting this site and will be back as time permits. Farewell for now!
