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EL FLESH

Share your game nights with everyone by posting images and captions, or just tell us about the exciting events that happened in your games here. Even if it's not from Saturday night, we'd like to see them!

Re: EL FLESH

Postby ken » June 10th, 2011, 8:38 am

el_flesh wrote:Korisu STILL in the hallway of Tobacco mist, (the only explanation for a Japanese to stay in that kind of lung-scorching *lemony goodness*), must roll a body cheq again. 3 more dmg.


POOR Korisu, seems to me, he would be better off armed with a Concombre, still, I am sure that he knows what he is doing. My man Zebs seems to be hanging back a little, tell him we need more AGGRESSION from him.(Been suffering from a Virus, cost me beaucoup livres), :mrgreen:
Last edited by ken on October 6th, 2013, 2:42 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Reason: language censors added for those with the censor turned on


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Re: EL FLESH

Postby el_flesh » June 13th, 2011, 10:04 pm

Retcon: we had actually brought the staggering Sunshine with us – and left her in the main room to finish recovering from her second concussion. But then we realized that she had also leveled up by two – and therefore was eligible for training for each level. How could that have happened if she were recovering from another concussion? We need better retconning.
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So, back on the wall in the stronghold assault she had been merely staggered, and unable to shoot her arrows straight. She had also been caught unprepared when we travelled to this dungeon using the ammy, and had been spending the past few turns putting a new string to her bow. Fixing her gear. Doing her hair. Putting on a little eyeshadow made from crushed beetle shells and animal fat. ooo – she’s good to go.
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Ninja, on his lowest roll, gets 18 for a reaction. He searches the far north room, with red skel backing him up – but two statues in it come to life. They are not moving for the moment. He sprints to one of them and tries to stab it in the side, which FAILs. His next attack only cuts thru its skin. A vicious stab of five skulls finally penetrates. His final technique is only 3 skulls doesn’t penetrate.
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Downstairs the tombs slide rock on rock as they slowly open! While my teammates are apprehensive, I am always happy to meet new undead. But I cannot tell where the raise skel spell has come from nor who had cast it. (simply because I forgot to ask DM and only thought of this now.) A section of the back wall is sliding open as well. Georgeous goes to look at the door, but smoke and mist is coming out of it.
Meanwhile Ninja gets barfed on with a glue-like substance and hit for several dmg points. Sunshine is almost across the pit now. Zebs smashes the doorway out, utterly splintering it open. But when he ventures into the hallway, spikes thrust up from the floor, causing a big gash of 2 dmg on his leg. Dark (green+red = gross brown) half-Ogre blood patters onto the floor. He is not in a good mood as he comes back into the tomb room.
Bone knights arise from the tombs. Georgeous has to defend from an assault on his rear. He just manages to avoid it and then counters quite well. Lord Boner loses 4 body points. The skel Wizard is attacked, and takes too much damage to maintain his manifestation on this plane – he detonates, causing his two knights to collapse into heaps of dry bone. But the damage from him takes the two bone knights that attacked him! El Flesh takes 5 damage himself – left with only 4 body points and unable to take a health potion; he is in distinct danger.
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The armor fiend next attax Ninja, giving him 5 dmg as well! It is reaction time again. Ninja hides in plain sight, and tries to stab the metal, but it just bounces off, almost breaking his wrist.
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He sprints down the stairs, but an investigation finds him nothing. There is no way to open it. Upstairs, red skel makes 6 dmg, but then is brought so low that he detonates with fire splash dmg. Georgeous hits the green skeleton well, bashes him, and then pins him to the wall, crushing its skull flat with the shield. Zebs chops an arm off another skel. Korisu attax a skel behind him.
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El Flesh devastates skels with his minions and his phylactic slayer, regaining all his lost body, and due to more action, can raise red skel again.
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Rusty goes into the small room two of the bone knights came from, and finds that there is a lever in the back alcove. Flesh pulls it; it opens the downstairs door. Zebs of DOOOOOM throws a rock into the hallway. Nothing happens. He decides to stay where he is. Georgeous must defend now. There is NO dmg on him – and his following attack on bone knight is devastating. But it casts a spell and heals itself! Korisu runs up to help Georgeous, killing one knight.
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Sunshine shoots the gold knight in the back – it’s cranium utterly detonates with NINE skulls hitting it!
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Ninja notices that Sunshine has left him, but since he is hiding in plain sight the statues don’t notice him. Somehow. He searches for items entirely undetected. (Well, he IS basically a burglar after all…)
He makes awesome rolls:
Visored Great Helm of Dicktection: +5 all search & spotting. (More quality items here we come!)
Artifact: Bracelet of MYNSB (i.e., Metal You’ve Never Seen Before) and these rolls were doozies on it:
1) every turn: melee dmg gives an energy jolt +1dmg to opponent who struck you; cheq 15+2D6
2) +1 AP in shields
3) -3 to cheqs vs YOUR spells
4) +2 reaction +1 action +1D counter attack.
5) +1 mind cheqs
6) +2D attack
7) +2D attack chance to break armor: permanently reducing def -1 if creature fails body vs 20+2D6.

Amazing. This item was just found in a floor crack. It’s the most powerful item in the game so far after more than a year of questing. What I don’t get is; why isn’t the main bad guy wearing it???
Now he searches the bookshelves with a +50% MF on whatever he rolls.
Someone was using it to store a Chainmail of Life: +1 body
12 Barbed Bolts of Lightning: since Sunshine doesn’t have a crossbow he will sell them – for their value of 2500 Ag
Potion of Strong Arms, which gives more attack for a few turns
There are two more Artifacts – since his rolls are now just amazing.
Leather Sandals of Crappy Traps: +3 cheqs vs floor traps +1 def/traps +1 cheq when hiding +2 reaction +2D attack The sandals actually look like cheap garbage. He puts them on, and no longer covets Korisu’s boots.
Silk Cloak: +5 body (this is actually a sum from identical rolls, like that bracelet above giving a total of 4 attack) +2 all cheq rolls
Great Sword of Swiftness: +4 reaction +4 action +2D counter
FINALLY he’s done. It took about a half hour to determine all this. Zebs searches a tomb: 95%!
Korisu sez: “Ya. He takes off his helmet and it makes a thorough search.”
He finds a Mace of Parrying: +1D defense. 1250 Ag
Georgeous searches a tomb. CLICK Gas is released. From the tomb, not Georgeous.
Korisu searches the tomb nearest him. He finds 10 Cu. Might be enough for one shot of alcohol.
Georgeous sez: “So we get a Mace of *lemony goodness*, 10 Coppers, and POISON GAS.”
Beernut: “Imagine what *lemony goodness* gear you would have if you didn’t have Ninja here today? Or even AT ALL?”
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Sunshine gets out of the gas, considers bumping Georgeous out of the way; a mind roll lets her realize she probably can’t do it.
El Flesh makes decent rolls searching the last tomb. He finds a rare item:
Ninja Silk Mask of Claire Voyance: +5 vision 1/adv spirit cheq vs 15 avoid ALL dmg single attack –OR- in case of attack vs cheq:autosuccess MAXIMUM defense! I put it on to help disguise my rapidly dessicating face.
Ninja now runs thru the gas and goes into the tiny back room. A thorough search finds a shirt of healing D6 1/adv.
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Korisu brazenly runs into the spike hall. Surprise defense still nets him no dmg! But the door on the other end is LOCKED. He goes back, reliving somewhat the Exorcist2 scene: 1dmg with a cut on his foot (not impaled). Reaction time: it takes Ninja 12 to disarm this trap: the spikes come out of the floor thru smooth holes! He gets 4 dmg working on it. Double sixes are the only way to disarm it; so he decides to run to the far door to pick it open, but breaks one more on the lock…

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"I will raise your dead body as an undead skeleton. Then I will make it do unspeakable acts. Like taking a shower." - El Flesh.

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Re: EL FLESH

Postby ken » June 14th, 2011, 2:54 am

Great Gaming there, Flesh, you folks were having a Ball! "Georgeous has to defend from an assault on his rear". Was that from Psshaw ? What's this Phrophylactic weapon, you mention? Have you a spare seat at your table, the Smogasbord looks tasty! I'll bring some Plum Gin. :mrgreen:


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Re: EL FLESH

Postby el_flesh » June 15th, 2011, 9:22 am

As a matter of fact we DO have a spare seat at the table! And it's right between Zebs of DOOOOM and Korisu!
"I will raise your dead body as an undead skeleton. Then I will make it do unspeakable acts. Like taking a shower." - El Flesh.

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Re: EL FLESH

Postby ken » June 17th, 2011, 3:05 am

el_flesh wrote:As a matter of fact we DO have a spare seat at the table! And it's right between Zebs of DOOOOM and Korisu!

Who could ask for more? Fighting proudly beside my Hero Zebs, I will bring Wallace the Wookie, and they can compare cardies. :mrgreen:


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Re: EL FLESH

Postby el_flesh » June 26th, 2011, 5:06 pm

INTERLUDE:

Some days ago, the group was marching in the woods with the army, towards the village and a massive undead raid that was barely stopped by killing the mage that commanded them.
The forced march took many days. Not all of them were filled with fighting.
The second night after leaving the citadel, the group met around a campfire as the sun went down. Georgeous had noticed a change in El Flesh. “You aren’t eating anymore.” He growled. He had never trusted the Necromancer. “In fact, I haven’t seen you eat since the grand banquet we had with Mental back in the Citadel. What is that tiny red core in the yellow light in your eyes?”
Zebs of Dooooom stopped his slurping and smacking of lips as he noisily consumed Jumbolaya.
The silence was more telling than anything Georgeous could accuse El Flesh of. Ninja silently turned his cloaked head to watch Georgeous. Even Korisu, already drunk on the last of the Wine he had found at the Inn, looked over. He, too, had noticed the change and was curious, although never sober enough to consider the subject worth broaching.
“It is a change due to more power. Do you prefer our Brotherhood weaker? Or stronger? Dwarf.”
Georgeous bristled. He had never trusted the unsettling Flesh, who was now looking more like the enemy than an ally. “I want our group more powerful, of course! But not if YOU will merely replace Zarquon when I take his head off!”
“I will replace Zarquon, dwarf. But only as the Supreme Necromancer on this globe. Not as an enemy of Mental; I have no interest in conquest of the living, or of any city that lives peacefully with Mental’s rule. I have other goals which have nothing to do with Humans, Dwarfs, or even half-Ogres for that matter.”
Zebs grinned, food dripping out of the corners of his mouth. He resumed noisily eating. The tension seemed to vanish.
But not for Georgeous. In his typical fashion, he stood up and vehemently pronounced his promise: “If I find at all that YOU kill even ONE innocent to fuel your power, I will take your head off right after I take Zarquon’s.” Zebs immediately stopped eating again, looking wary.
“Fair enough, Dwarf.” Flesh conceded. “I will now retire to my tent. Good evening, all.”
It satisfied the dwarf enough, but he was not entirely done. He looked at Zebs, who glanced guiltily at Ninja, then back. Georgeous looked at Ninja, who returned the look with a face that betrayed nothing.
“Damn you three. You are always holding secrets. Why are you so close? Does the Necromancer visit your beds at night?” The spearmen in earshot chuffled at this joke.
“You know as well as I do that he works through the night on his magics.” Ninja quietly spoke, immediately dispelling the laughs.
“…in fact, Flesh knew our fathers.”
“Ya. Him know my dada.” Zebs muffled through a mouthful of food.
“Ah so ka!” Korisu interjected. It was enough of an explanation for him. “We need story feel good. Please tell us itto.”
Ninja saw an opportunity to calm the dwarf down, and draw their group closer together. “Well, of course I wasn’t there; my father told me about this adventure with Flesh. I met him when I was still learning my father’s trade, and asked about him later on, for he was an unsettling thing even then. My father told me about the first adventure they went on together, all for a reward of gold from Mental when he worked for the previous king – the one who was killed in battle with Zarquon when he first showed his face.”
Zebs was excited enough to drop his plate of food in the fire. “Ya! Ya. Ya – my dada tell me! Him want me see Flessho if need help. Anytime see. Ya.”
“Please tell us what happen this advencha!” Korisu demanded, as he sat back and tipped more wine into his mouth. Zebs rooted around the fire, singeing his hands a little getting his food out. The ash and dirt on his food went entirely unnoticed as he ate it, now happy that the problem seemed to be over.
“Well my father told me,” continued Ninja, “that there was an evil wizard, Erongil, gaining more power. This was when reports were first coming in of Zarquon gaining allies from the more chaos-aligned races, which Flesh is not,” he looked pointedly at Georgeous, who had sat back down, as he said this “The king ordered Erongil dead in retaliation for having killed some other wizard of his. Flesh was just a young man then – still in his last teens, I think. My father was with them, and so was Zeb’s father, who was a Barbarian from the Northlands. These three had never fought together before, but even then, they found they could rely on each other…”

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“My DADA go in first, cos him BRAVE like Me!” Zebs pounded his chest. “Him open door and find little lousy goblins.”
Ninja said nothing, smiling faintly to himself. The other quickly caught on how likely it would have been.

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“The three of them soon faced three goblins. At the time, all Flesh could do was raise two of the weakest skeletons we face nowadays. But they were enough to help them wipe out the three goblins. My father had killed Goblins before, but this was the first time Sneaky Singh was in one of their castles…”

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“Ya, my dada not like either. But him never faint. Maybe only fall down from wet floor.”

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They found a nasty surprise though, - he told me it was a pair of Fimirs in the next room.”
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“Ya! Ya. My dada go fight them. Him kill them both in one swing!” Zebs swung his mighty arm to illustrate, belting and knocking down a spearman standing behind him.

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“The next room, however, was opened by a skel of Flesh’s. It was cold in the room, icy. He sent the skel thru, while Retard of Doooom waited in the hall.

_________________

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“When him find Gargoyle – first one of dark magic ever – him FIGHT it! POW! BANG! BOOM!”

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“Him KILL it all by himself and den them go look treasure. Find stuff. Nothing big.”

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“But looking not good them times. Make monsters come sometimes looking. Maru. Bad.”
“Ahhh so ka nah…” Korisu said in a long, drawn out voice. He was feeling no pain, and was enjoying the story.

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“Not take long my dada kill all dem Cold Deaf Mummies.”
“But they were hard to beat for sure,” Ninja interjected, “they produced cold somehow, and could freeze you if didn’t resist well enough…”

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“They had a hard time searching for secret doors in that hallway. They knew it had to be there, but they were damned if they could find it. That’s why my father had me trained very well in searching. Well, it took a lot of searching up and down the hallway…”

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“When my father finally found the secret door, it knocked Retard on his butt.”
“Heeeyyyyy!” protested Zebs

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“They were excited about finding some artifacts on a fireplace. Though it wasn’t great compared to what we’ve been finding as we get closer to Zaquon. He’s stronger now; he’s definitely stronger now.”

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“Flesh’s skeleton found a door of fire, but it fell apart trying to get through. There were four skeletons on the other side, and two of them destroyed themselves trying to get to them on the other side. Well, our fathers jumped through the door, and took out the other two skeletons. They were weak, but remember our fathers didn’t have enchanted weapons like we have. And they didn’t have much formal training either.”

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“He told me that they found an old tomb…it spoke to them and told them to beware of a circle of power.”

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“Flesh almost died falling into a lava pit, but he held on until my father dragged him out. When they found the sorcerer that was in the circle of power, flesh’s skeletons fought them on the side of it; they killed three skeletons in the room, then one of flesh’s skeletons fell apart trying to run down the wizard. They had to fight him hand to hand. But he wasn’t as hard as the Ice Gargoyle and he got wiped out. The evil spell and circle of magic was dispelled, and they took back the castle. It was the first time there was a direct fight, though, between our two sides, light and dark. Just because Flesh uses dark magic, doesn't mean he can't use it to serve the light instead. These guys learned they could trust each other. I have no doubts about Flesh.”

“Ya! Ya. Me not have no louts, neither.”

“Well,” said Georgeous “Still I will keep an eye on him. And still I will kill him if he betrays us!”
“So da, na,” commented Korisu, “this normaru. I kirru anyone betray. ANYONE. You tu, George-san. You kirru anyone betray, na? Not onry Erru Furesshu.”
“Aye. Though I would have a hard time to kill you, old friend…” Korisu passed merely the last of the wine to his ally, for though they were good friends, a good drunk would always come first for Korisu Yamato.
"I will raise your dead body as an undead skeleton. Then I will make it do unspeakable acts. Like taking a shower." - El Flesh.

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Re: EL FLESH

Postby Ninja Singh » June 29th, 2011, 8:35 pm

That was such a great post. Better then any thing that I could have conjured up.
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Re: EL FLESH

Postby ken » June 30th, 2011, 2:17 am

Ninja Singh wrote:That was such a great post. Better then any thing that I could have conjured up.


Well Said :!: What a lovely heartwarming story. I always KNEW my hero Zebs had a Daddy, in spite of El_Flesh
trying to make out he was a Bxxxxxx.


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Re: EL FLESH

Postby SonandDad » July 7th, 2011, 3:56 pm

Seems as though all of your Heros are learning of the power of the quest through the ages and generations

Zebs,Ninja and the rest of the gang sure had good role models, May the reputation of every family's name for courage and bravery carry on for-ever.

Could Ninja be persuaded to set up a summer camp for the young :?: I know Puck would attend :twisted:
Through the ages and generations the Power of the Quest will continue!!
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Re: EL FLESH

Postby el_flesh » July 10th, 2011, 10:41 am

We finally get under way THREE HOURS after arriving. This is thanx to the WONDERFUL cheez sauce Beernut has made for us, and the incredible hamburgers also. Find both recipes in Ken'sfood thread!
We roll for initiative, which Ninja will always win, due to his insane amount...but he still fails to open the door with a roll of 10! He needs to autosucceed with 12! (and by the way, we could make a ninja camp like you would not BELIEVE) Zebs is too scared to move. Georgeous yells thru the door at him to check on his progress, which startles Ninja almost enough to drop his lock pick! Korisu is so gone with dunkenness, he wants to go to the corner to take a swipe. But his roll fails, and so Beernut informs us that he didn't drop his britches in time, and dribbles diarrea all down them. He rolls enough to clean himself up - mostly. (You would think this were something ZEBS would have done...) Since we seem to be stuck in a difficult position, I ask if the Amulet of Methemkay will work in both directions - but it won't. It allow return to this maze only; not to any town. Rusty the ghost notices on the other side of the door that two areas of the floor are sliding open...
The door finally clix open. Ninja notices the sound of the floor units sliding - and something smells rotten.

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There are Zombie Dogs in the pit, but he is more interested in the metal door and runs to it. There is no handle, nor keyhole. He tries pushing it, but it will not open. He finds no treasure with a roll of 12. Georgeous runs to the dogs, and switches on his 3 turn duration of blessed light; which makes 2 dmg per turn. A couple of dogs are whining as they sizzle. Travelling thru the spike hallway, Lord Boner loses 2/3 of his HP. Pshaw loses none, bur red detonates - luckily there is nobody in the hallway to get damaged. When Flesh passes thru the hallway he would have to roll snake eyes to get hit by spikes. Korisu goes to the zombie dogs. Since the pit is three squares in depth, he leans over the edge and finishes taking a proper dump - all on them. But they are already dead, so they don't care. He turns and takes a leak on them which also does nothing to them except maybe piss them off (pun intended) as they jump out of the hole now.

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As they arrive, the steel door opens from the other side and a wraitlike creature floats in. Korisu sez it must be Michael Jackson. His Iai Jutsu lets him get the drop on the attacking dogs; swinging as they snap at him. It kills one dog outright. Two more cannot even touch El Flesh; but lack of action precludes any counter attacking. Georgeous' holy fire detonates a zombie dog.

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All of the dogs around Georgeous are sizzling. THeir attax can hardly even touch him either, and he wipes out three of them on counter attax alone. At 7 spirit points each, I am getting insane experience. Ninja is attacked by three dogs now; only one of them damages him by 2. MJ wraith screams, giving everyone, including flesh (with insane spirit check of 45+9roll - missed by ONE) -3 spirit in damage! Korisu has lost HALF of his spirit - one more hit will irrevocably kill him! (Given what he's been doing this game so far that might not be such a bad idea). So he sprints back thru the hall to wait in the other room. Ninja runs up to him and tries to hit; but his weapon merely passes thru it. So he turns to the dogs; killing three in total. Zebs uses his spirit sword, and that causes some damage to the wraith. Georgeous manouvers into a better spot for his holy light to hit all the dogs, but it reduces Lord Boner to one body point left. Rusty is reduced by half to 2. But the weapon fails to touch the wraith! So he switches his ax of enlargement for a base artifact from HQ that can do ONE dmg per hit (if he rolls a skull). He takes a potion that gives 25 action, and then does one-hit wonders until MJ is dead (again). Going to the open door, Georgeous sees several spirits on the other side of it!

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This is going to be very difficult! Sunshine can finally shoot - she kills several more dogs. Boner kills a dog. Flesh then raises a wizard which casts a hi heat ball into the middle of the spirits. It kills all of them in one detonation, and the resulting flow of spirit XP levels me up to my lucky number - 13.

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Flesh shrugs off the attax of 2 dogs, and it is the same for Boner who kills one on a counter. Ninja now cleans up several of the dogs. (i.e., kills them, not washing the offal of Korisu off them). Beernut remarx that it's time to upgrade the enemies, seeing how this was basically no challenge at all - although that was thanx to the one hi heatball of Wizard Skel. Ninja searches the dog pits, and finds a Pantaloonies: +2 attack +2 def. There is so much loud voice debate going on I have no idea who got them. Korisu kills the last 2 dogs, and Ninja rolls his least search - it takes Beernut 7 minutes to determine it is a Halberd of ThatWasReallySwift: +2 AUTOskulls, +1 range (total of 3!) +2 reaction.
And a Pink Girdle of Shopping: 1/adv teleport to town and back (for shopping) retaliates on enemy hit with a backflow of pink energy causing 1 dmg vs 15.
So tonight was maybe three turns in total, but it was fun! Apologies for forgetting my camera card in the laptop, allowing only this small number of pix - not that there would be much more action otherwise anyway...
"I will raise your dead body as an undead skeleton. Then I will make it do unspeakable acts. Like taking a shower." - El Flesh.

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