EL FLESH

[ken]

Man, you need to get out of the house more

[el_flesh]

Actually, I kinda...copied these ideas from Diablo2...

And the fun thing is that most of the crew that plays this game looks forward to it all week long! Who wouldn't with great food, desserts, and BOOZ!

[ken]

Actually, I kinda...copied these ideas from Diablo2...

And the fun thing is that most of the crew that plays this game looks forward to it all week long! Who wouldn't with great food, desserts, and BOOZ!

I couldn't agree more Puck comes once a month for two days gaming, he (we) can' t get enough. He is a little young for the booze yet, but I hold my end up (can I say that) PS still can't find any Capicola, you will have to send a couple of slices for us to try, in the post

[el_flesh]

Wow. Some wizard or other is looking out for me.
Seems this weekend I'm not allowed to play anything. There is a visitor from out of town staying with us, and of course I must be home tonight.
Turns out it's a weekend off already for Beernut! Great how things work out sometimes isn't it?!?

[ken]

Wow. Some wizard or other is looking out for me.
Seems this weekend I'm not allowed to play anything. There is a visitor from out of town staying with us, and of course I must be home tonight.
Turns out it's a weekend off already for Beernut! Great how things work out sometimes isn't it?!?

What can I do without my weekly fix? Have a good time !

PS who is this fellow BIFF, a friend Do you have him round for tea & cakes Tell us more

[el_flesh]

Biff is an *Play-Doh factory* from Old Scratch website who I invited onto my dojo floor. I would like very much to BIFF and boff him all around the room, and so the best I can do for the moment is write about it...
He may very well be the friend of several people here, but he is not mine!
It doesn't stop me from being friends with those people here or even on his website anyway - THEY didn't treat me like an *Play-Doh factory*. HE did and he isn't going to get away with it.


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Very little HeroQuest material was used in this game, but I am sure everyone is still interested...
The artists, Georgeous & Korisu drew a fast and dirty road with trees and a lake, on the hex side of the sheet. Yes, we were now going to have some more directions to chose from when walking, outdoors at least.



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The DM, Beernut tells the guys who were missing last week : "Zebs & Ninja took off after El Flesh, Ninja because he was curious, and Zebs because 'Baybeez ah goodt eeeatingk! Maybe zeah be LEFTOVAHS!' and the three of them never came back. You searched and you didn't find them anywhere in the city. So you decide to follow the plan, and go back to the castle/town that will need your help."
(This is the smaller one we had first drawn on the sheet some months ago, NOT the citadel where we met Mental.)
Since there are only monster figs, Beernut has to use some crappy D&D "battle system" markers from the 80's to represent the legion. The column is supposed to be miles long, along with support wagons, blacksmith, etc, and we are miles away from the citadel of Mental.
Korisu has been telling bad jokes that don't translate well to the soldiers he's been marching in the middle of, glad to be rid of the same old friends for awhile. "But I cheet on her!"
"You cheated on your new girlfriend??"
"No! No! I cheet on her chess! Cheet on chess! A hahaha! Is joke, hai??"
"....."
"kusssooooo..."



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As they pass halfway to the castle, a messenger rides up to Georgeous asking where his friends are. "I don't know!" - Just then, a commotion is heard in the middle of the column! It's a meat tree! A HAMbush!



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Flesh, Zebs & Ninja, meanwhile are swirling in the portal; but we can hear battle nearby us.



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Georgeous sees the soldier next to him lose his head, and it goes flying by. He turns and uses his magic extension at the spear-wielding Orc chief. But it is still up! Sunshine shoots thru the trees, as she had been scouting ahead and beating a dead horse. (The pencil shows the arrow's vector to see if it can hit).




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With three skulls she only hits it in the butt. Another arrow misses. Another hits a tree. The next one goes wild. The last one hits the same tree. Well, she is shooting from pretty far away. The Pissed off Orc chief with an arrow in his ass attax Georgeous! 5 shields still allows 3 damage! DM "He is really pissed off!" Especially since, as a dwarf, Georgeous is a natural enemy of Orcs. Hearing Georgeous squeal in fear of the massive Orc, Korisu runs through the ranx, pushing men aside and shocking not a few of them. He takes off the chief Orc's head! Much to our suprise, the DM moves the figure we used to the trees, in back of the invading Orcs, telling us that hasn't got enough Orcs either to show the MASSIVE invasion! A new player, mmiJy, who was travelling with the supply wagons at the back of the column, jumps down and shoots four Bolts Arcana. Two of them detonates the head of an Orc.



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Now Korisu is attacked. He excellent defense lets him get what the DM calls a "4 spank-bottom counter" on the Orc foolish enough to try and harm him. But he does take some damage. By the end of the monstars' turn, mmiJy is in trouble, with two Orcs attacking him and a couple body points down.
El Flesh rolls a way out of the portal, and immediately raises the (now) burning RED skeleton! Red gives some burning aura damage. Ninja runs out and kills his target. So does Zebs.



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Initiative roll, has Ninja hiding among the trees, he stabs and cuts Orc armor, then stabs it thru the back of the neck! he kills a regular Orc too. Korisu says "I will put my FANTA soda away and BANG some Orcs!" He does damage and also shox an Orc, detonating its skull. He outright kills another Orc. Red Skeleton's turn as it attax an Orc, making it smoulder then burst into small flames; it runs into the lake and jumps in, but floats to the surface DEAD. Lord Boner, next, barely slices an Orc, but on the scythe bash hits three skulls on the back of its head.



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Georgeous shield pins an Orc to a tree. 6 skulls vs 1 defense shield absolutely SMEARS the Orc (bonkk) into the tree bark crevasses. Zebs hits a smaller Orc. The he runs to a hot spot, splitting that Orc in half from crown to crotch. But the archer Orc Lord Boner had hit blox Zebs attack entirely! Then Zebs has to defend against an Orc Marauder!



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Sunshine, still firing from the place where she was beating the dead horse, shoots across the board. She hits one, killing it, then slices the cheek of another. The third arrow slices its other cheek. The final arrow goes through its mouth and comes out the back. She shoots another at the Orc who was next to him, and then at another one just coming out of the water, but hits a sapling instead. It is the monstars' turn, and mmiJy rolls snake eyes, but his one shield still lets him dodge the attack. But he takes one damage on the next attack.



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Alot of Legion men are getting killed, but they are holding the line - so far. It seems that Orcs are alot more powerful than regular humans. This is what HERO Quest means.



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An Arrow flies at me, but has no chance at all of even hitting. An Orc attax Red skel, causing one damage. The Orc is smouldering as he attax Red again, then drops his weapon, running to the beaver damn - where the most obnoxious of the Beavers, Justin, comes out and eats him, chattering through his buck teeth. Lord Boner defends two attax. mmiJy has two Orcs around him, one of his bolts kills an Orc, but the other autofails with snake eyes.
We roll for initiative. I get 18, a prety high roll, Ninja "18.4 bitch! Put THAT in the report!!" Well he can just

Be
Loving and
Open-hearted
With

My
Emotions
!




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At least my 18 is far better than Georgeous' roll! So Ninja runs to help mmiJy and kills the Orc. Lord Boner's double scythe goes thru an Orc hero's head (bang!) and comes out of its chest with the heart skewered on it! My ghost ('Rusty') kills its target. I raise a Wizard skel, which in turn raises two bone knights. One kills a crossbow Orc, the other one damags its Orc with a lousy roll. Korisu shoves his shocking katana into an Orc's mouth. Its eyes melt and it falls. He cuts again, going though the heart of another Orc, the electricity jump starts its dying heart again as it burns.
Georgeous now throws his lightning ax in to the middle of a group, reducing each one of them to one body point. (Kind of like the UK HQ!) He next hits the hero Orc several times. It doesn't fall, but "he looks like the result of a Vietnam Napalm drop. He's phoqued up bad." Sunshine shoots a full attack on an Orc that is patting out the flames on its own body from Red, "killing the *lemony goodness* out of it". She kills another Orc. mmiJy's turn has him shooting Bolts Arcana, killing four Orcs! Zebs kills his target, and his next attack cuts another Orc good. It takes two more attacks to kill the valiant Orc - but no matter what it tries to dodge the fierce Zebs, its skull is skewered in the end. Don't piss off a half-Ogre with a barbed sword and a Schwarzennegger accent.



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Monstar turn sees much of the legion army dying, though they do manage to kill some of the Orcs. It hardly matters: alot of Orcs have been filling in behind the dying ones! They fail to harm my bone knights or Georgeous. Ninja stabs an Orc through its bicep; it is not a useful arm anymore. Then he cuts its neck. It sinks to the ground, a great fount of greenish thick blood splaying out of its severed arteries. He hamstrings an Orc archer, which falls to the ground screeching as it bleeds to death. My skeleton army kills alot of Orcs. Then Sunshine shoots and kills three more. Zebs, due to a lousy roll, kills Nong Shim at all. (Inside joke).



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Georgeous removes an Orc leg at the knee. He autofails his stun. He then cuts the femur (not fimir!) and the Orc falls bleeding to death. The Orc army is falling fast.



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He shield crushes an Orc in front of him. Korisu kills an archer; there is flash-fried Orc brains all over the ground (which Zebs finds entirely edible). Just tapping another Orc on its chest with the lightning blade gives it an immediate cardiac arrest. mmiJy shoots his four Bolts Arcana again - clearing out the last of the lake side of the ambush! We are no longer in danger of being encircled!



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The Legion's turn has them killing alot of the Orcs, but losing alot of soldiers as well! We have lost fully half of the army, and while there is no longer a limit to the number of summons I can raise, there IS a limit to the spirit points I have to do it with! I don't know where we will get replacements for all of these professional soldiers that we are losing! mmiJy is attacked now, and he manages to defend. Korisu defends. With another initiative roll, Korisu cuts an Orc head, but the lightning kix in while hafway thru, and it detonates, throwing burnt brain everywhere. He next removes an arm of another Orc, but the lightning cauterizes the severed veins, and it is still up. His next slice hits it in the neck, killing it at last. He then cuts the forearm off another Orc, but his lightning arcs over its chest stopping its heart. He stabs a half troll, killing it, then shocks one final Orc in front of him. Ninja kills the last Orc Leader, then another Orc in front of Zebs. Georgeous misses alot of attax, (must have been really drunk by then,) then finally cleaves his Orc's head in two.



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It takes one more turn to clear the forest side of the ambush.
Most of the remaining legion is now wounded. We are only halfway to the village.
What will we find there?
Our legion cannot withstand another ambush on the way.
Does Zarquon know this?
Where is Mental?
Who was that guy whose brains Georgeous painted the walls of the cell with? (an a-hole, probably).
What is The Meaning of Liff?



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Tune in next week for more...

[gravaillon]

I like the oldschool roleplaying map... It remember me the good old warhammer roleplaying games that I have made when I was young... So good to remember this...

[ken]

Good Gaming there, Flesh, your crew certainly have vivid imaginations. Whats all this
sh-tting on shesses about ? maybe the translation is lost between Japanese-US-English ?
No mention of Nourishment or Potions (Margaritas) this week, perhaps you are all dieting ?
I have been working on a new skeleton army for Pucks next visit. Check it out. The one at the front is two-faced, with no guts. Shall I call him Bill

skells.jpg

[el_flesh]

absolutely! The gayer the more a-hole!
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For FASA Star Trek Starship Combat Simulater, they made a white hex map on a black starfield. The model ships had hex bases under them.



I wonder if they took that hex-based design from the movies; check the control panel for weapons in Wrath of Khan.
That's what I was playing every weekday for summer break when I was 15.
By the time HQ came out I was waaay more busy getting into girls' beds.

[ken]

So, where is the de-brief on Sir Fagnar The suspense is tangible.