Ye Olde Inn

gravaillon wrote:I've just finished the translation of the Kellar's Keep official remastered edition. But, i'm french, and their must be a lot of mistakes in the text. If you could find them and correct them, it would be great and i could put the finished pdf file to download.

I finally noticed the English translation of Kellar's Keep...awesome stuff! You definitely deserve some support from the English-speaking community in return for your contributions.

I'll base my comments on the US version, as it more closely resembles your translation of the French version. I'd be happy to provide (British) English examples, such as "expansion sets" or "colour" if you prefer. I could then provide further editing afterward, if needed. Let me know.

Okay, here are my suggested corrections:

promotional page

• Change "NOW THE ENGLISH VERSION" and "AVAILABLE IN FREE DOWNLOAD!" to THE ENGLISH VERSION and NOW AVAILABLE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD!
• Change "Quest Book, Tiles, Cards in Colour!" to Quest Book, Tiles, and Cards All in Color!

p. 2

• Change "...This book can't be selled." to This book can't be sold.
• Change "This book presents original content from the Quest Pack box 'Kellar's Keep', pictures, texts, tiles are copyrighted." to This book presents original content from Kellar's Keep, the Quest Pack expansion set for Hero Quest. All pictures, text, and tiles are copyrighted. (I went with expansion set as the KK Quest Book refers to itself as such.)
• Change "All rights reserved "1989 Milton Bradley" and affiliated artists." to All rights reserved by Milton Bradley and it's affiliated artists.
• Change "This book just trying to keep the old HEROQUEST Board Game and their respectives Quest Packs alive because those games aren't selled anymore." to This book is just trying to keep the old Hero Quest boardgame, its respective Quest Packs, and other expansion sets alive because these game products aren't sold commerciallly anymore. (I included "other expansion sets" because OH and WoM weren't actually called Quest Packs. You can reject this convention, if you like.)
• Change "This edition has been remastered by Gravaillon,January 2011." to This edition has been reformatted by Gravaillon, January 2011. (Added a space.)
• Change "English Version by Gravaillon." to English translation by Gravaillon. Edited by Daedalus.

p. 3

• Change "Summary" to Table Of Contents (This title is used in the US version of the anagolous page. The US version also capitalizes all words in a title- you may or may not want to imitate this stylization.)
• Change "Box Content" to Box Contents
• Change "Playing "Kellar's Keep"" to Playing Kellar's Keep (The same title isn't quoted in the actual book).
• Change (optionally)
  "A Message from Mentor
  
   The Quests
       The Great Gate
       ...   
       Grin's Crag
  
  Conclusion"
  
  to
  A Message from Mentor
  The Quests
  . . . .The Great Gate
  . . . ....
  . . . .Grin's Crag
  Conclusion
  (This uses the stylization from the US Instruction Booklet Table Of Contents page.)

That's all for now, gotta sleep...

More suggested corrections:

p. 4

• Change "Box Content" to Box Contents

• Change "Kellar's Keep is the first official QUEST PACK for the famous HEROQUEST boardgame." to Kellar's Keep was the first official Quest Pack for the famous Hero Quest board game. (Only the promotional flyer used all capital letters, but you may do the same, of course.)
• Change "This box gives to players more detailed figures that have already been viewed into the original Game System box." to This expansion set included more detailed figures that had already been released with the original Game System.
• Change "Kellar's Keep gives the player, new challenge through 10 Quests big's adventure." to Kellar's Keep gave the players new challenges through ten Quests of epic adventure.
• Change "You can also find new tiles and new traps, well designed." to Original, well designed tiles and traps could also be found within. (I chose past tense for the previous four sentences to clarify what was originally available in KK, as opposed to what you now offer.)

• Change "You can find Kellar's Keep Box on the web, on Ebay for example. But it is very expensive because, the game has becommed collector." to The Kellar's Keep expansion set can be found on websites such as Ebay, but this option is expensive as the set is now a collector's item.

• Change "In this book, remastered edition of the original box, you will find all the original materials of the box, ready to print, except the miniatures." to Found within this reformatted, PDF edition is a reworking of all the printed materials from the original expansion set. (I changed this to better describe the differing nature of your edition.)
• Change "...except the miniatures." to Only the miniatures aren't recreated.
• Change "You can buy them on the Games Workshop Web Sites who proposes good looking miniatures, that look like the original minatures of the box." to Suitable replacements can be purchased from the Games Workshop web store, which offers good-looking miniatures resembling those of the original Kellar's Keep expansion set.
• Change "See them in the Warhammer Battle collection." to They can be viewed in the Warhammer Battle collection.
• Change "One box of 10 to 15 plastics figures costs between 25 to 40 $." to A box of 10 to 15 plastic figures costs between $25 and $40.

• Change

. . . . "Original box of the Quest Pack contains following materials :

-3 Fimirs figures
-8 Orcs figures
-6 Goblins figures
-New tiles for the board
. . . . . (Traps, stairways...)
-One booklet that contains 10 new quests."

to

The original Quest Pack expansion set contains:

-3 Fimir figures
-8 Orc figures
-6 Goblin figures
-New tiles for the board (traps, stairways, etc.)
-A Quest Book containing 10 new Quests

...more later...

more suggested corrections:

p. 5

• Change ..."Here is the official book of 'Kellar's Keep', US Version." to Presented here is the US version of Kellar's Keep.
• Change "I have just remastered all elements of the original box: Quests Book in color, cards in color and original tiles ready to print." to Elements have been reformatted from the original expansion set: The Quest Book has color added with a new layout, and the cards are in color. The tiles are ready to print, as well.
• Change "No changes has been made in book content." to Changes in the Quest Book are noted. However, no content changes have been made to any Quest map or Quest text.

• Change "There is a second book of this 'Kellar's Keep' special edition." to There is a second book of this Kellar's Keep special edition (in French).
• Change "The second book contains unofficial materials like new cards, new tiles and new version of the quests." to This book contains unofficial material such as new cards, new tiles, and alternate versions of the Quests.
• Change "Those new versions have been made by Heroquest France and remastered by me." to This alternate material has been created by Heroquest France and reformatted by me.
• Change "All the quests have been tested. It respects the original quests but offers new challenge to players." to All of these Quests have been playtested and respect their original counterparts, while offering new challenges.
• Change "The second book is not essential but gives a new life to 'Kellar's Keep' Quest Packs, like the Dwarf Armory or new monsters and incredibles boards for the game." to The second book is not essential, but components such as the Dwarf Armory, new monsters, and incredible room tiles breathe new life into the Kellar's Keep Quest Pack.
  
  
• Change ..."Kellar's Keep is an expansion set used with your original HEROQUEST Game System...." to Kellar's Keep is an expansion set used with your original Hero Quest Game System.
  
  
• To better match Kellar's Keep stylization, Optionally change
  "CONTENTS :
  -8 Orcs, 6 Goblins, 3 Fimirs
  -Cardboard sheet includes : 1 Two-sided Iron..."
  
  to
  Contents: Plastic Figures: 8 Orcs, 6 Goblins, 3 Fimir; Cardboard Tile Sheet.
  
  Cardboard tile sheet includes: 1 Two-sided Iron...
  
  If you choose to reject this formatting suggestion, then instead change to
  CONTENTS:
  -8 Orcs, 6 Goblins, 3 Fimir
  -Cardboard sheet: 1 Two-sided Iron...

• Change "...The 2 new doors in this Quest Pack should be folded and fitted into the door bases as shown at right...." to The 2 new doors in this Quest Pack should be folded and fitted into the door bases as shown at left.

p. 6

• Omit indented paragraph spaces for all tile descriptions but Stairway. For example, for the Entrance Door change
  " . This iron door is
  .placed on the edge of the..."
  
  to
  .This iron door is placed
  .on the edge of the...
  
  
• Change "Stairway" to Stairways
• Change "These tiles are used to create the effect of climbing up or down the stairs." to There are 3 movement squares on the short stairway and 5 movement squares on the long stairway. These tiles are used to create the effect of climbing up or down stairs. (It should be made clear how many spaces the stairways contain in order to avoid confusion about the smaller steps.)
  
  
• Under Cliff Corridor, change "The cliff corridor is used as Grin's Crag, a dangerous walk-way near the entrance into Kellar's Keep...." to The cliff corridor is used as Grin's Crag, a dangerous walkway near the entrance into Kellar's Keep....

p.7

[*]Optionally omit all paragraph indentations on this page to better match the original Kellar's Keep Quest Book. Full blank line spaces already accomplish paragraph delineation.

• Under 3. Treasures, change "Note : In original 'Kellar's Keep' box, there were an Alchemist Shop where the players could bought some potions between Quests." to At the beginning of the original Kellar's Keep Quest Book, there was an Alchemist's Shop where the players could buy potions between Quests.
• Change "I have decided to delete the shop and transform it to Treasure Cards, which you will find in the Materials Section of this book." to This has been deleted and replaced with treasure cards which can be found in the Printable Materials section at the end of this book.
• Change "Put those cards into the Treasure Cards Deck before playing a Quest." to Add these cards to the other treasure cards before playing a Quest.
  
  
• Under 4. New Artifact Cards, change "These new cards are found on the Materials Section of this Quest Book, in a remastered and full colour version." to These new cards are found in the Printable Materials section at the back of this book, reformatted and in full color.
  
  
• Change "Spell Scrolls; The 8 remaining artifact cards are called spell scrolls." to Spell Scrolls: These are used just like spell cards in the Game System. (As the Fire Ring and Magical Throwing Dagger section was deleted, the original opening sentence is unnecessary.)
  
• Change "...However, a spell scroll cans be used only by the Elf or the Wizard who finds one." to However, a spell scroll can only be used by the Elf or Wizard who finds one. (Do you mean to say an Elf can't give a spell scroll to a Wizard to use? That seems to be an unnecessary rule change. I think it's best to omit "who finds one".)
  
  
• Add to the end of 4. New Artifact Cards
  Note: Unlike most artifacts in the Game System, those in Kellar's Keep are limited in use and must be crossed off a Hero's Character Sheet after they are used. Furthermore, in the original Kellar's Keep Quest Book, any Hero could use spell scrolls. Use of spell scrolls is now restricted to just the Elf and the Wizard.

I looked up the meaning of remastered and discovered that it doesn't apply to printed material. Therefor I am changing all cases of remastered to reformatted. Unfortunately, reformatted doesn't imply a better quality, as remastered does. Perhaps an explanation of higher quality could be written in on the first page. Or just leave certain cases, anyway. Kellar's Keep Remastered just sounds cooler than Kellar's Keep Reformatted, even if the latter is technically more accurate. [Changed a few early reformatted edits back to remastered.] -edit

Daedalus wrote:I looked up the meaning of remastered and discovered that it doesn't apply to printed material.

Consider it another evolutionary step in the history of the English language. New words and new definitions to existing words are added all the time. If we keep using it, so it shall be.

Thanks for interest to my work, but I have made this kellar's keep remastered a long time ago, and for now I'm working hard on the remastered edition of all the game by heroquest france. See it on my blog http://www.heroquest-reloaded.blogspot.com on the "Edition 2011" section.

The 2011 edition is a remake of all the quests, precision on the rule system, no major changes in comparaison with the original one, just more logical things. Thanks to heroquest france. Actually, I have made all the Game system and its 14 quests and I'have just finished Kellar's keep. This edition 2011 also includes a very great solo mode which has already been translated by drathe (but now it's a new version 2011-2012)

Actually, I'm working hard on RETURN OF THE WITCH LORD 2012 and also on a personnal SKAVEN QUEST PACK...
So, if you want an english version of this edition 2012, you have to translate it, and you've got a lot of work ! But it would be very great ! Send me the text and I will remastered it ! I promise

Daedalus - you are a BEAST with the rules book stuff. Keep it up. Wish I had the time to help out right now...
I'm working on finishing up my game system when I have the time - lately, that's not often. 2 year old and
another on the way in 6 weeks....lots to do.

gravaillon wrote:Thanks for interest to my work, but I have made this kellar's keep remastered a long time ago, and for now I'm working hard on the remastered edition of all the game by heroquest france. See it on my blog http://www.heroquest-reloaded.blogspot.com on the "Edition 2011" section.

Keep working, we're looking forward to it. I still have a bit more editing to give you to complete the English version of Kellar's Keep. When your project schedule allows for it, you can always get back to Kellar's Keep Remastered- English version. We can wait.

When my contribution is complete, I'll compile all the changes into a single document and send it to you. Then you will have it in a more accessible form until you are ready to finish this project.

gravaillon wrote:The 2011 edition is a remake of all the quests, precision on the rule system, no major changes in comparaison with the original one, just more logical things. Thanks to heroquest france. Actually, I have made all the Game system and its 14 quests and I'have just finished Kellar's keep. This edition 2011 also includes a very great solo mode which has already been translated by drathe (but now it's a new version 2011-2012)

Actually, I'm working hard on RETURN OF THE WITCH LORD 2012 and also on a personnal SKAVEN QUEST PACK...
So, if you want an english version of this edition 2012, you have to translate it, and you've got a lot of work ! But it would be very great ! Send me the text and I will remastered it ! I promise

Unfortunately I'm not able to translate French into English. That task must fall to another. Should the translation require some English polishing, however, I or another could help out.

And now, for some more suggested changes...

• Consider labeling each Quest with a number as the original Kellar's Keep does for easy reference. For example, on p. 9:
  
  Quest 1
  The Great Gate
  (But perhaps you are satisfied with your numbering of Quests on your new character sheet. In that case, just go with what you already have.)

p.9

• In the Parchment Text section, change "...I shall watch over your progress and aid you when i can." to I shall watch over your progress and aid you when I can.

p.10

• In the Parchment Text section, change "Beyond, you will find the Warrior Halls, ancient passage-ways where all of the great Dwarven warriors were honored." to Beyond, you will find the Warrior Halls, ancient passageways where all of the great Dwarven warriors were honored. (The hyphen was originally used for a break in the word that was written on two lines. Your use can simply use the compound word.)
  
  
• In note A, change "They were used centuries ago to test the fightiing skills of Dwarven Warriors." to They were used centuries ago to test the fighting skills of Dwarven Warriors.

p.11

• In note A, change "Place the round boulder tile on the square marked 'A'." to Place the round boulder tile on the square marked "A." (I know it looks strange, but American grammar places the period inside of the quotation mark, even if just one word is quoted. You may use instead English grammar and keep the period outside, but then you should stay consistent with English grammar and spelling throughout- periods should also go outide parenthesis in that case.)
• Change "On you (Zargon's) next turn and subsequent turns, roll two red dice to see how far down the corridor the boulder rolls (to the right, toward the Heroes). to On your (Zargon's) next turn and subsequent turns, roll two red dice to see how far down the corridor the boulder rolls (to the right, toward the Heroes).
  
  
• In note B, change "All of the traps in the corridor marked "B" are so well hidden that any Hero who searches for traps, will find only 1 trap, the one closest to him." to All of the traps in the corridor marked "B" are so well hidden that any Hero who searches for traps will find only 1 trap--the one closest to him. (The double hyphens should really be an em dash, but I think they work fine. Maybe your word processor will automatically combine them into the longer em dash. Personally, I just use a hyphen and a space. The whole bother is about showing emphasis in the final thought of the sentence, which a comma doesn't achieve. Of course, you can differ from the original Kellar's Keep if you feel a comma just looks better.)
• Change "The Heroes will have to discover this on their own." to (The Heroes will have to discover this on their own.) (The original Kellar's Keep included parenthesis to show a separate thought.)

p.12

• In the Parchment Text section, change "Once you find the part of the map, you must find the wooden exit door to continue on your journey." to Once you find part of the map, you must find the wooden exit door to continue on your journey.
  
• In note B change "The Fimir in this room knows the Chaos Spell 'Rust' (See the Chaos spell card in the Game System)." to The Fimir in this room knows the Chaos spell "Rust." (See Chaos spell card in Game System.) (The original Kellar's Keep omits "the" in command sentences.)

p.13

• Change "You may choose any monsters, except the following : the Chaos Warlock, the Gargoyle, 1 of the Zombies, 4 of the Skeletons and 3 of the Goblins." to You may choose any monsters, except the following: the Chaos Warlock, the Gargoyle, 1 of the Zombies, 4 of the Skeletons and 3 of the Goblins.
  
  
• In note B, change
  "If they are attacked, they will fight and move as follows
  
  MOVEMENT . 6 . ATTACK . 3 des
  DEFEND . 4 des . BODY . 2 . MIND . 0"
  to
  If they are attacked, they will fight and move as follows:
  
  
  MOVEMENT . 6 . . . ATTACK . 3
  DEFEND . 4 . . . BODY . 2 . . . MIND . 0

p.14

• In note C, use bullets unless you don't have access to them. They are preferred in general, and are used in the original Kellar's Keep.
  
  
• In note D, change "The crossbow is described in the equipment cards." to The crossbow is described in the Game System Armory (or the equipment cards of the European edition).
  
  
• In note E, change "His stats are the same as a Chaos Warrior, but he also knows the following spells: Summon Orcs, Fear, Rust, Ball of Flamme and Lightning Bolt." to His stats are the same as a Chaos Warrior, but he also knows the following spells: Summon Orcs, Fear, Rust, Ball of Flame and Lightning Bolt.
• Change "(Refer to the Chaos Spell Cards in the Game System). to (Refer to the Chaos Spell Cards in the Game System.)
• Change "The first Hero to search for treasure in this room will find 2 spell scrolls at random from the scroll cards and list them on his Character Sheet." to The first Hero to search for treasure in this room will find 2 spell scrolls on Gragor's table. This Hero should draw 2 spell scrolls at random from the scroll cards and list them on his Character Sheet. (Shortening this sentence confuses what is found in game with what the players use.)

Still more suggested changes:

p.15

• In the Parchment Text section, change "Along the way,you must locate the last part of Grin's map and then escape through the wooden exit door." to Along the way, you must locate the last part of Grin's map and then escape through the wooden exit door. (Insert a space after the comma.)
  
  
• In note A, change "Use the Orc with the large notched sword to represent OGRAK." to Use the Orc with the large notched sword to represent Ograk.
• Change "Place OGRAK on the square marked with his name." to Place Ograk on the square marked with his name.

p.17

• In note B, change "Place BOROKK, an evil Chaos Warlock, on the square marked with his name." to Place Borokk, an evil Chaos Warlock, on the square marked with his name.
• Change "BOROKK has the same stats as a Chaos Warrior, but he also has a very special and deadly magical power." to Borokk has the same stats as a Chaos Warrior, but he also has a very special and deadly magical power.
• Change "To do this, BORROK rolls 2 combat dice." to To do this, Borokk rolls 2 combat dice.
  
  
• In note D, change "That Hero may pass through the gate only if the total number rolled is equal to or less than his current number of Mind Points." to That Hero may pass through the gate only if the total number rolled is equal to or less than his current number of Mind Points." to That Hero may pass through the Gate only if the total number rolled is equal to or less than his current number of Mind Points.(Italics are optional, but lend stress here. "Gate" wasn't capitalized correctly in the original Kellar's Keep.)

[NOTE: I noticed that the original Kellar's Keep Quest Book doesn't capitalize game components as the Game System does. Specifically, Kellar's Keep refers to "artifact cards" and "monster cards", while the Game system Instruction Booklet and Quest Book uses "Artifact Cards" and "Monster Cards." The original Kellar's Keep Quest Book also doesn't uniformly capitalize game keywords as the Game System Instruction Booklet and Quest Book do. For example, Kellar's Keep uses "defend dice," while the Game System uses "Defend dice." I didn't yet choose to correct these inconsistencies, but my feeling is they probably should be changed. Do you have a preference?]

Still more suggested edits:

p.18

• In the Parchment Text section, change "Now you must find your w ay to Grin' s Crag." to Now you must find your way to Grin's Crag.
• Change "When you have passed Grin' s Crag you will reach a glant wooden door leading to Kellar' s Keep." to When you have passed Grin's Crag you will reach a giant wooden door leading to Kellar's Keep.
• Change "Once opened,you will be able to lead the Emperor and his army back to safety." to Once opened, you will be able to lead the Emperor and his army back to safety.
• Change "Beware !" to Beware!
• Change "Grin' s Crag is guarded." to Grin's Crag is guarded.
• Change "You must tread carefully !" to You must tread carefully!
  
• In note A, change "If a Hero enters the room, he must stop and roll 1 red die :" to If a Hero enters the room, he must stop and roll 1 red die:
• (Use bullets instead of hyphens if possible.)
• Change "-If a Hero rolls a "3", "4", or "5", place one door in the position shown next to the square with the number rolled." to -If a Hero rolls a "3," "4," or "5," place one door in the position shown next to the square with the number rolled.
• Change "-If a Hero rolls a "6", the Cloud of Chaos attacks and the Hero must roll 1 combat die." to -If a Hero rolls a "6," the Cloud of Chaos attacks and the Hero must roll 1 combat die.
  
• In note C, change "The first player who moves onto the square marked "C" will activate the Gardian of Grin's Crag." to The first player who moves onto the square marked "C" will activate the Guardian of Grin's Crag.
• Change "Place the Gargoyle on the square marked 'X'." to Place the Gargoyle on the square marked "X."

p.19

• Change "The door opened into the darkness of Kellar' s Keep." to The door opened into the darkness of Kellar's Keep. (Many of the edits in this Parchment Text section concern the apostrophe and space before the 's' in possessive names. If this isn't intentional, but rather a result of the text font automatically including a space, then ignore these edits.)
• Change "Then came the news, a group of Heroes had found a secret passage ino Kellar' s Keep." to Then came the news--a group of Heroes had found a secret passage ino Kellar's Keep.(Use an em dash, not two hyphens. Otherwise a hyphen and a space looks okay.)
• Change "Escape was now possible !" to Escape was now possible!
  
• Change "Kenaron, the Captain of the Emperor's Guardian Knights, stood bravely at the gate,giving his fellow soldiers and the wounded time to escape." to Kenaron, the Captain of the Emperor's Guardian Knights, stood bravely at the gate, giving his fellow soldiers and the wounded time to escape.
  
• Change "Time and time again the evil Doomguard surged forward, only to be felled by Kenaron' s sword." to Time and time again the evil Doomguard surged forward, only to be felled by Kenaron's sword.
  
• Change "Zargon watched for a while and smiled wryly at Kenaron' s courage and skill-at-arms." to Zargon watched for a while and smiled wryly at Kenaron' s courage and skill-at-arms.
• Change "A moment later Zargon' s patience was spent." to A moment later Zargon's patience was spent.
  
• Change "Zargon' s warriors howled in anger,for the escape passage had been destroyed." to Zargon's warriors howled in anger, for the escape passage had been destroyed.
  
• Change
  "...rest well, my friends."
  
  
  "Once i have consulted Loretome, i shall summon you."

to
...rest well, my friends. Once I have consulted Loretome, I shall summon you."

Materials page:

• In the Mentor Parchment Text section, change "This heavy task falls on you. My trusted Champions." to This heavy task falls on you, my trusted Champions.
  
  
• In the lower explanatory parchment text, change "Here,you will find original materials contained in the box of 'Kellar' s Keep'." to Here are found PDFs of the original materials from the Kellar's Keep expansion set.
• Change "You will find all the tiles and specific doors. You will also find all the cards of the Quest Pack, Treasure cards for the potions and artifacts cards." to All the tiles, specific doors, and artifact cards are included.
  
• Change "All the material have been remastered and colourized by me. I don't have included the Venom Antidote card yet because you will find it in the second Quest Pack, 'Return of the Witch Lord'." to This material has been reformatted and colorized. Additionally, Treasure Cards for the potions of the Alchemist's Shop have been created, but the Venom Antidote card isn't yet included. It will be part of the second Quest Pack, Return of the Witch Lord.
  
• Include Finally, a special Kellar's Keep Character Sheet has been created for use with the Quests.

Nearly there...

Last suggested edits:

1st Printable Cards page

• On the Potion of Battle card, change "If you have a really "weak", roll of the attack dice, you may drink this blood-red potion. It allows you one re-roll of your attack dice." to If you have a really "weak" roll of the attack dice, you may drink this blood-red potion. It allows you 1 re-roll of your attack dice.
  
  
• On the Magical Throwing Dagger card, change "Always inflicts 1 Body Point of damage when thrown at a monster a Hero can 'see'." to Always inflicts 1 Body Point of damage when thrown at a monster a Hero can "see."
  
  
• On all Spell Scroll cards, change "May be used only by the Elf and the Wizard" to May only be used by the Elf or Wizard
  
  
• On the Fire of Wrath Spell-Scroll card, change "It will inflict 1 Body Point of damage, unless the monster can immediately roll a 5 or 6 using 1 red die." to It will inflict 1 Body Point of damage, unless the monster can immediately roll a 5 or 6 using one red die. (5 or 6 stands out more clearly if the number word "one" is used.)

3rd Printable Cards page

• On all Spell Scroll cards, change "May be used only by the Elf and the Wizard" to May only be used by the Elf or Wizard
  
  
• On the Genie Spell-Scroll card, change "This spell conjures up a Genie who will do one of the following : open any door on the gameboard (revealing what lies beyond), OR use five combat dice to attack a monster within your line of sight." to This spell conjures up a Genie who will do one of the following: open any door on the gameboard (revealing what lies beyond), OR use five combat dice to attack a monster within your line of sight.
• Omit "May be used by any Hero."
  
  
• On the Sleep Spell-Scroll card, change "May not be used against Mummies, Zombies or Skeletons." to May not be used against Mummies, Zombies, or Skeletons. (Italicize to match KK, and use extra comma for continuity throughout all the pages.)

Character Sheet page

• For convenience, I haven't sized all boxes on the page to fit thier matching type size. You will need do this again.

• In the Character description/stats section, change

. . . . "Name

Character Type . . . . [. ]Barbarian[. ]Elf. [. ]Dwarf[. ]Wizard
Body Points . . . . . [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]
Mind Points . . . . . [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]"

to
Name . . . . . _________________________________________
Character . . . . . . [. ].Barbarian. [. ].Elf. .[. ].Dwarf. [. ].Wizard
Body Points .. . . .[. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]
Mind Points . . . [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]


• In the Heroic Acts section, change

. . . . "Disarmed Traps . . . .[. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]

[. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]"

. .. . . . . . to
. . . . . Discovered Traps .. [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]

[. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]
(Discovered must be used, or else only the Dwarf can gain the Tool Kit benefit. Also, I assume you want a multiple of 7 boxes here, as with Secret Passages and Killed Monsters.)

• Change "Secret Passages" to Secret Doors
  
  
• In the Spell Scrolls section, better group the elements by switching Sleep and Genie. Separate the boxes, as in the better-looking Heroic Acts section. Consider adding another column of boxes.
  
  
• Reorder the Artifacts, Potions, and Equipment section to (from top to bottom) Equipment, Artifacts, and Potions. This will better fit the addition of previous artifacts, such as Orc's Bane.
  
• Under Equipment, change
  
  . . . . . . . "Equipment
  Head
  Helmet [. ]
  Body
  Plate Mail[. ].Chain Mail . . .[. ]
  Hand
  Shield. [. ]Dagger[. ] . . Staff [. ]Battle Axe[. ] .Spear
  Broadswor[. ] . Longsword . [. ]
  Distant Weapon
  Crossbow .[. ]
  Special
  . Tool Kit.[. ]
  Others"
  
  to
  .. . . . . . . Equipment
  Armor
  Helmet. . . . [. ] . Shield. . . . . [ .]
  Chain Mail.. . [. ]. Plate Mail . . [. ]
  Bracers . . . . [. ]. Cloak of . . .
  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Protection .. [. ]
  Weapon
  Dagger . . . . [. ]. Staff .. . . . . [. ]
  Hand axe .. . [. ]. Spear. . . . . [. ]
  Shortsword . [. ]. Broadsword . [. ]
  Longsword. . [. ]. Battle axe . . [. ]
  Crossbow. . . [. ]
  Special
  Tool Kit.. . . [. ]. __________.[. ]
  (The Spear isn't part of the North American Armory. As you included it, I assume you intended that the European Equipment Cards are to be used with this sheet- at least optionally. Therefore, I included the Hand axe, Bracers, and Cloak of Protection as well. If you don't mean for these to be used, simply omit their lines. The Spear will then be omitted as well.)
  
  
• Under Artifacts, change
  
  . . . . . . "Artifacts
  Fire Ring. [. ]
  Magical Throwing Dagger [. ][. ][. ]"
  
  to
  . . . . . . . .Artifacts
  Borin's Armor . . [. ]
  Orc's Bane. . . . . . [. ]. Spirit Blade [. ]
  Magical Throwing Dagger. [. ][. ][. ]
  Wand of Magic. [. ]
  Elixir of Life . . . .[. ]. Fire Ring. . . [. ]
  Ring of Return. [. ]. Spell Ring. .[. ]
  Talisman.of.Lore.[. ]
  (I thought it would be a good idea to include the artifacts preceding Kellar's Keep, as a player would want to record those as well. Be sure to separate the boxes as you did in the Heroic Acts section.)
  
  
• Under Potions, change
  
  . . . . . . . "Potions
  Antipoison [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]
  .
  .
  .
  Heroic Brew .. . . . . [. ][. ][. ][. ]"
  
  to
  . . . . . . . .Potions
  Venom Antidote [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]
  .
  .
  .
  Heroic Brew. . . [. ][. ][. ][. ][. ]
• The boxes for "Antipoison" ("Anti-toxin"), "Healing", "Strengh", and "Holy Water" are uneven. Change to 5 or 6 boxes across (every line) for a cleaner look. Also seperate boxes as in the Heroic Acts section.
• Change "Strengh" to Strength
  
  
• In the Legend section, change "Legend" to Key
• Change "Spells Succesfully Thrown" to Spells Cast
• Change "When you reach the red square, your Hero may roll permanently one additional die for attack OR defend. Make your choice." to Upon reaching the red box, chose to permanently gain either one additional Attack OR Defend die.
• Change "When you reach the green square, your Hero can take a Tool Kit Card in Equipment Cards." to Upon reaching the green box, your Hero receives a Tool Kit for his use only. (This represents his skill, so it shouldn't be transferable to another Hero. BTW- Shouldn't the Dwarf benefit in some way, such as half damage upon failure?)
• Change "When you reach the blue square, your Hero adds on 'Mind' Point to his initial stats. He can also choose 5 spells scrolls that he can keep between Quests." to Upon reaching the blue box, your Hero permanently gains one Mind Point and may choose five Spell Scroll cards that may be kept between Quests.
• At the top of the Gold Coins box, omit Gold and enlarge the box.
  
  
• In the Accomplished Quests section, change "The Grin's Stone Map Parts" to Grin's Stone Map, or simply omit it. Also, consider preserving the sense of discovery a bit by making the pieces silhouettes.

p.27

• Perhaps this page could benefit from acknowledging text: The contents pictured are those from the original Kellar's Keep Quest Pack.
• On the bottom text, make the same edit corrections as on the bottom text of p.2.

Back Page

• Are the Ogre, Dragon-Ogre, Beastman, and Dark Elf to be included in some way with Heroquest France's rules? Otherwise, I don't know why they are include on the back of this remastered expansion. Still, it's a cool picture, regardless. I'd omit "Kellar's Keep", leaving just the "Hero Quest" logo. If they can be worked into Kellar's Keep, retain "Kellar's Keep" and clarify things by adding: This expansion set may be enhanced with additional rules from the remastered Hero Quest Game System.
  
• On the bottom text, make the same edit corrections as on the bottom text of p. 2.