A laugh a day...

[Gold Bearer]

This actually made my eyes water. Evidence removed.

[Sjeng]

that whole post cracked me up xD

I saw an interview with Sean Connery last week. He said how much he disliked shrimp.
So they asked him why, and he said, well, basically, because they're shelfish.

[Teldurn]

So in my calculus class last year in math, there were these two Chinese twins. Ving, and Ling. Ving was always super cool with me. In exchange for answers (he was super smart) I would hang out with him and be his friend and stuff. After I cheated off of him and studied with him though, I did get to be his friend and we got very close. His sister, Ling, was always uptight about school and she made sure to study, she got stressed about a B, etc. One day I was hanging out with Ving, and we started talking about names. He went off on this huge rant about how he hated his, and how he wanted to change it to something more Asian-American, like Lee. I told him that the Courthouse downtown had a form that you could fill to legally change it. He told me:

"I always give you answers. If you could just drive me down to the courthouse this one time, I will never forget you. I just hate this god-forsaken Chinese name and I want to get rid of it forever." He seemed pretty adamant about it, so I decided the best decision would be to take him. We walked out to my car, and right as I put the keys in the ignition Ling came running and tapped on the car door like a madman. I rolled it down and she started freaking out about how Ving's name had been passed down through generations and generations, but Ving didn't care. He just wanted to go down to the Courthouse and get it over with. Ling figured that coming with would be the best idea, so if anything else came up that she would be needed for, she would be there for Ving. Honestly, I felt stuck in the middle of a family feud, so I just took her along.

When we got to the Courthouse, Ving confidently walked up to the front desk and asked the receptionist if he could change his name. She gave him a little packet of paper and told him to sit down. Ling and I waited patiently while Ving filled out his info. I was watching him fill it out and I noticed he really did want to change his name to Lee. Before he finished, though, he started tearing up. He told me he couldn't change his name. He asked the lady at the front that he couldn't do it, and she told him he would need twenty dollars to cancel the request. Ling was so relieved and happy that he changed his mind, she dug through her purse, found the money, and started to hand it to the receptionist.

It was at this moment that the most stereotypical Asian man burst through the doors. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a visor, American flag shorts, flip flops, everything. This little guy was decked out.

When Ving and his old man saw each other, they both started bawling, and embraced each other. Out of his tears, Ving said "Dad, I love my name. I want to be Ving forever, and I'm going to name my kids Ving, and they're going to name their kids Ving, and-"

And the old man said:

"Don't, stop! Be Lee, Ving! Hold onto that fee, Ling!"

[Sjeng]

oh, my Goddess... that's a LOT of story for a pretty bad pun xD
If I ever told that to someone, they'd surely not laugh but look at me funny.

[Teldurn]

oh, my Goddess... that's a LOT of story for a pretty bad pun xD
If I ever told that to someone, they'd surely not laugh but look at me funny.

Haha, that's part of the fun. At least for me.

If you're feeling particularly sadistic, google "Longest joke in the world."

[Gold Bearer]

that whole post cracked me up xD

Yea me too, that was just my favorite.

If Google Was A Guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuOBzWF0Aws - Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B759dzymyoc - Part 2

How Animals Eat Their Food
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnydFmqHuVo - Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySIC0QPJbJQ - Part 2

[knightkrawler]

I think the file's currupted. The text came out looking like gibberish.

Thanks, but the file is not corrupted.. it's just written in German

Preislos.

[Gold Bearer]

Athiest humour:

[Reveal] Spoiler: offensive link warning

Star Trek new phaser settings:


Star Wars canteen:


Stoned olympics:

[knightkrawler]

You've managed to completely misunderstand virtually every point. All of your arguments are based on misconceptions because you don't have a clue about how electricity works.

Ok.
In that case i should call my employer and tell him that he should call back all the aircraft which incorporated the short circuit protection and lightning strike protection changes which i was developing in my time as electrical aircraft system architect.

[whitebeard]

You've managed to completely misunderstand virtually every point. All of your arguments are based on misconceptions because you don't have a clue about how electricity works.

Ok.
In that case i should call my employer and tell him that he should call back all the aircraft which incorporated the short circuit protection and lightning strike protection changes which i was developing in my time as electrical aircraft system architect.

Now that's funny!