Cranking these out, great job, HZ!
Yes, the original EU (UK) edition favored the "generic he" (like the term "mankind" meaning not just males, it wasn't specific to sex), while was lessened in the NA version, so whatever is appropriate for clarity, realizing common English conventions may have changed in other societies.
I was thinking of those white rooms... you could add a spare door and make it another room to search for treasure (even if "empty" of furniture/monsters) but at the same time they probably intended to have it blank and just forgot to fill it in, so fair call there.
As for Spirits, looking into a Thesaurus for synonyms for wisdom or something close to it, you could use a term like erudition, pansophy, sageness, insight or prudence. I know he didn't write the quests, but Dave Morris (whose HQ books may or may not be canon depending upon whom you ask) loved to use fancy words in his novels intended for young boys. Up to you of course.
You could say something like
"those without discernment of spirit cannot pass so it became known as..."(the term can also be "discernment of spirit
s" meaning telling the difference between higher and lower beings attempting to influence and sorting good from evil in one's self)
Use of the definite article seems appropriate. "The Final Battle" vs. "Final Battle" each has a ring to it.
French sounding names like
Godot seemed cool, I guess ties in with the Warhammer fantasy flavor of Frankish Chivalry where it draws its inspiration (alongside ancient Roman and fictional Cimmerian). Changing the names to sound less European strikes me as creative editorial revision akin to those who try to make them sound more eastern in their opinion... but whatever is closest to the text I say is in keeping with the spirit of what you've been doing so far. Baller sounds a bit funny though.
As my own editorial aside, I think there are many westerners who are attracted to asian arts and media because of the romance of the exotic, so difference is celebrated. But the same could be said for our eastern counterparts, who may see glamor in the alien (foreign) flavor of the west. So Hero Quest brings its knights and barbarians and European folklore into that part of the world, and a few things change here and there, but it doesn't lose that aura of brushing past another world unfamiliar with exciting things to discover... so while we may be westerners re-translating the translation of "our" art for our own benefit, we're gathering up the creative interpretations imposed by another culture's view of the art in order to appreciate it as well. Just some thoughts.
In my broader fan canon view, yes, I understand that these were all separate editions, but I have no trouble believing some of Zargon's forces migrated to other parts of the Hero Quest world (loosely based on the Warhammer Fantasy World!) and setup shop (he didn't just want to conquer on small part of the earth but total power was his goal). There they became known by other names (like Grimdead and Monolizard) and perhaps even took on some of the local flavor over time.
Having the guy you meet always be named after the place he's ruling over does seem a bit odd. Oh look, it's King Britain!
(Lord British? j/k. The Neefish King sounds a little odd even if correct, so maybe "of" is best)
I believe other editions of the game have used abbreviations in the squares before when space is limited, so that wouldn't be inappropriate. Like MGN or MAG for the magician, perhaps, another thought.
I think your translation is bringing back to mind some of the things that were difficult in the original translation. The "evil god" being a synonym for the Chaos Warlock figure, but also the big bad guy character you're trying to stop (the chaos gods being another inspiration from the Warhammer world, and fits with other types of big evil dudes like the Frozen Horror in other packs in other localities, or even like the Witch Lord). But there was some confusion over who Grimdead was... if that was the name of the evil "god" or of the "Demon King" (Zargon) himself (who is compared to a "god" of the game in the manual here). And then the side discussion about deities across cultures and the "god" being one of many possible powerful beings above humans, not necessarily almighty in this context (Zargon, despite his hubris, is after all still a man). The idea of Zargon (or Morcar if you prefer, or in this case Grimdead) seeking after sources of power that even he will not be able to control, fits in with the idea of chaos and the prophetic warnings of Mentor in the EU version (that he foresees his pupil ultimately being destroyed by the very forces he has unleashed... whether this is his own bitter prediction or the prophecy of Loretome is unclear). If the evil god destroys the world, where would Grimdead be? So the lore is enhanced by these stories, I feel. Grimdead being the demon god character as opposed to the GM player ("king of demons" Zargon/Morcar) makes better sense to me.
This makes me think... isn't it about time Hasbro releases another Hero Quest for the nostalgic fans in Japan? So perhaps the next project should be a retro style translation of the (remake) English back into Japanese again...
PS: Unbeknownst to me, the Japanese versions of the Orc and Goblin are already in HeroScribe via the all in one icon pack. So nevermind!